Heart-to-heart talk
by HarryMakepeace
Summary: This one-shot is set after Red Team/Blue Team. Really loved that episode. This is my first GW FF so be kind to me and my German school English. Alicia is confused after the situation with Will in the office and there is only one person she can talk to...


This is a one shot and my first Good Wife FF. So be kind to me and my German school English. I hope I'm not so much out off character. This short one is placed after Red Team/Blue Team.

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I don't own The Good Wife and it's characters and so on :-)

Alicia tried to sleep for hours. She rolled back and forth, but she couldn't rest. Why had she allowed the kiss? Why had she kissed him back? What was wrong with her? Peter was her husband and she enjoyed having sex with him. The brief moments of passion in his trailer were a distraction from everyday life. Alicia was confused. She was married to Peter, was attracted to Will, and finally there was the beautiful Kalinda. Professionally, she had achieved everything. To be an equal partner in the company, has always been her dream. Perhaps, this feelings of happiness had overwhelmed her? Tomorrow everything would be different. She was no longer employee at Lockhart and Gardner. Alicia Florrick was an equivalent partner. Nothing spoke against a relationship with Will. Can a woman love three people at the same time? Was it love between her and Peter? The sex was good. Was it just sex? Maybe it was just the entrenched habit she loved of Peter. And Will? Did she still love him? That kiss in the evening was electric. Exciting. Alicia felt highly coveted. Kalinda was a good friend. She had forgiven Kalinda long ago. Back then they didn't know each other. But Alica felt hurt and betrayed for a long time. Not by Peter, but by Kalinda. However, that had to mean something right? She could drown in her dark eyes. Damn Alicia, stop it, she thought. It's good as it is.

Some time later, Alicia swung her legs out of bed and stood up. She sneaked into the living room and opened the bar. A sip of whiskey would make sure she get tired. She emptied the first and then the second glass. Then she took the bottle and went back into the bedroom. Alicia took the phone and dialed a number. It was two in the morning.

"Hello?" said a sleepy voice on the other end.

First, Alicia said not a word and took a deep breath.

"Alicia? Is that you?"asked the soft voice.

"Yes," Alicia whispered into the phone.

"Did something happen? Are you okay?" asked her counterpart.

"Sorry, yes I'm fine," the lawyer lied.

"You don't sound good. Have you been drinking? What happened? Talk to me."

"I'm a little drunk. Sorry for the disturbance. It's nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, "Alicia whispered and wanted to hang up.

"Wait, Alicia. Don't hang up. What's wrong? Want me to come over?"

"Yes please," Alicia said shortly and regretted it immediately.

"Hold on, I'll be right there."

Half an hour later someone knocked at the door. Alicia had waited in the living room, not to wake the children. She was unsure if she should open at all. It knocked once again. Quietly Alicia crept to the door and opened it. Kalinda was leaning casually against the door frame.

"Can I come in?" the pretty private investigator asked.

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry I disturbed you in the middle of the night. Actually, it's not necessary that you're here,"Alicia said, noticeably nervous.

"Yeah sure. You call in the middle of the night and you're drunk. And it's nothing? Can I come in now?"

Alicia stepped aside and let her friend in. Kalinda threw her leather jacket over the back of the sofa and sat down. Alicia poured herself a glass and handed the bottle to Kalinda.

"We kissed,"Alicia said shortly.

"I kissed you once. And it was weeks ago. That's bothering you now?"Kalinda asked surprised.

"No, no, no! Will kissed me. And I kissed him back. I'm sleeping with Peter. Oh God, Kalinda, what's wrong with me? Am I crazy?"Alicia asked desperately, sipping her glass.

"You take what you need. You're not crazy. I'm bad influence, I guess," said the pretty brunette and smiled.

"Stop it, Kalinda. This is serious. That's not me. I don't sleep around."

"But I do, you're saying. What's this about? Why did you call? I don't understand. What's your problem? You got two men who love you, take it or leave it,"the young woman said , and drank from the bottle.

"I didn't mean to offend you. It's just ... I envy you. It seems so easy for you. You take what you want and you simply go on. I'm confused. When I'm with Peter I'm thinking of Will and the other way around. And sometimes I think of a third person,"confessed the lovely lawyer, staring at her glass.

"Who's that?" Kalinda asked shortly.

"I can't say but it confuses me even more. I'm totally messed up. Everything would be perfect. I'm finally partner. The world is open to me. I have the opportunity to work big cases. Finally, I'm independent. What shall I do, Kalinda?"

"Addicted to Love, I'm not a good counselor, Alicia. Take it as it comes or make your decision. Think of your happiness and don't think of others. Do you love Peter? Do you love Will? Or the third person? I can't help you on that. My decisions aren't the best, remember? I messed up our friendship once and I won't do it again,"Kalinda said honestly.

"We never talked about Peter. What happened back then? I want to know."

"You don't want to know, Alicia. That was long ago. Not exactly my favorite subject. Let it rest," the younger woman begged.

"No, no, I want to know. Please, Kalinda. It's important to me. We never talked about it. We are friends and you are very important to me. You know everything about me and I want to know more about you. We have a common past, so to speak. Tell me."

"Okay, I'll tell you. Normally I tell no one about my life. But you've got to know Nick, so what. Several years ago, I fled to Chicago. By the time your husband was looking for some employees of different nationalities. I was hired. After a few weeks he found out that I used a fake name. My real name is Leela Tahiri. I have a past. Not a very nice past. I asked Peter for help. He offered me to cover my past and to change my name officially. I had no money so I offered him what I had. Me. We spent one night. That was the deal. But Peter wanted more. When I refused, I was dismissed without notice. That's it. Peter is not my favorite district attorney. Then I met you and I'm so terribly sorry,"Kalinda revealed.

"I'm terribly sorry, Kalinda. It wasn't your fault. Peter took advantage of you. I was hurt, because you haven't told me. All these years, you said nothing. That hurt. I had no idea what he's capable of. I could obtruncate him for what he did to you."

The alcohol showed its effect and to Alicia felt dizzy. She could hardly believe the story she just heard. Alicia stood up, stumbled and searched for the phone. Kalinda hurried after her.

"What are you doing? Oh God, you're really drunk. C'mon, I'll take you to bed," Kalinda offered.

"Is that an offer? But first I need to get something done,"Alicia stammered.

"What are you up to? It's not a good idea to walk around in your condition."

"Now I'll call Peter. I'll tell him what I think of him. And that he can stick his election in his a...!"Alicia crooned angrily.

"No, no, no, Alicia. This is not a good idea. It's past and gone. Over and out. Forget it, please. Do yourself a favor and go to bed. You'll regret it tomorrow. Why do you want to do that? It's been ages and he's your husband. What has changed now? You sleeping with him. Maybe he has really changed? Maybe he's a different person now?"

"What has changed? He used you, hurt you and betrayed me. He hasn't changed. Men do not change. I've nothing to regret but he will, I swear,"the older one said, furious.

"Hush, think of the children. Calm down, sweetie! I'll take you to bed and tomorrow the world looks better."

Alicia knew that her friend was right and was led into the bedroom. They dropped on the bed together. Kalinda put the bottle on the bedside table.

"I'm not much help, right?" Kalinda asked glumly.

"Oh yes, you are. You are here. You're the only person I can always rely on. What do you think about me, Kalinda? "Alicia suddenly asked.

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"What do you think about me? Am I just a lawyer, mother and housewife? Or are you looking at me as a woman as well? Am I attractive? You love women, you need to know. Have you ever thought about it? You and me?"Alicia asked curiously and she suddenly didn't care to open up.

"Not a good topic, Alicia. I will not talk to you about it. You're drunk and hurt. It is better, I'll go now,"Kalinda protested.

"Please, Kalinda, don't go. I'm a little tipsy. But I know very well what I say and do. You are an amazing woman and I want to know. Have you ever thought about it? Am I attractive? Do you want me?"

"Why now? Where does that come from? Alicia, you're straight. I don't destroy families and I don't sleep with married women,""Kalinda said firmly.

"But you sleep with married men," the dark-haired lawyer said sadly.

Angry Kalinda jumped to her feet. That was not fair. This blow came hard.

"Oh God, Kalinda. I'm terribly sorry. That was unfair and mean. Please don't run away."

"Do you know why it's different with you? Because I really like you. I would only hurt you. I can't give you what you want. And I swear, I've often thought about it. You're beautiful and lovely. You are wonderful. Honestly? I want you, with every inch of my body. But that won't happen. At least not here and now. I'll better go."

"You are the third. You are the third person in my fantasies. I don't want you to go. Can you please stay? I don't want to be alone. Can you just lie next to me? Please, Kalinda, I've missed you so much,"Alicia begged and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Not a good idea, Alicia. You're confused and I'm not going to take advantage. Make your decision and I'm there for you. No matter how the decision turns out. Good night, Alicia, "said Kalinda and kissed her friend gently on the lips.

Before Alicia could say anything, Kalinda was gone and she had shut the door behind her.


End file.
